Your boss calls you into the office, shuts the door, and says, "...we're not satisfied with your performance in this role, so we've made the decision to terminate your employment. Please clear your workspace and collect your final paycheck from HR." How can you navigate this situation without losing your dignity?
Part 1
Step 1. Take a moment (or five) to process the shock and gather your thoughts.
Give yourself a moment (or five) to process the shock and gather your thoughts. Take a deep breath. If you feel like crying, go ahead – it won't change the situation but may help you cope better by releasing your emotions.
Step 2. Perceive the situation correctly.
Perceive the situation correctly. Your initial instinct might be to label yourself as a bad worker, a failure, or even a loser, but that’s just the voice of panic. Instead, tell yourself: "I was in a job that was not right for me." It’s important to note that the job isn’t to blame, and neither are you; it’s the combination of you and the job that didn’t work out. So don’t be ashamed of the situation. There are millions of reasons why a job might not work out, and none of them imply 100% of the blame lies with you.
Step 3. Don’t try to change the decision.
Don’t try to change the decision. You might feel tempted to plead for another chance, but you should resist that temptation. The decision is made and almost always irreversible. Pleading will only weaken your negotiating power later on.
Step 4. Negotiate the terms of your departure.
Negotiate the terms of your departure. Employers typically want to avoid unnecessary troubles, especially earning a bad reputation. Here’s what you can negotiate:
- Agree on how your employer will respond if someone asks for a reference. The safest response for them is: "Yes, they worked with us, but we have a policy of non-disclosure regarding performance evaluations."
- Request a generous severance package. Demand payment for unused vacation days and sick leave, as well as a severance amount you believe they might agree to – somewhere between one to three months’ salary. They may not give you everything you ask for, but it’s a good starting point for negotiations.
- Ask your employer to extend your health insurance coverage for a period.
- Request assistance in finding a new job. Some employers offer outplacement services. If they don’t, ask what organizations they might recommend for your job search. They might have information on available positions.
Step 5. Leave with dignity.
Leave with dignity. Don’t wait until the end of the workday – pack your things and leave. If colleagues stop you to say goodbye, politely thank them, but don’t shake the walls with cries about what just happened to you. Never say anything negative about your boss or the company – burn no bridges so you won’t be haunted by resentment.
Step 6. Inform your family immediately.
Inform your family immediately. Even if you’re still in shock and feeling ashamed, tell your family what happened and discuss how you can all cope with it together. Although your loved ones might also experience shock and unpleasant feelings, it will be easier for you to start taking further steps together in the long run.
Step 7. Give yourself time to recover.
Give yourself time to recover. You might be tempted to jump right into job hunting, but you need to allow yourself time to process what happened, work through feelings of shame and panic, and start thinking clearly. Take a couple of weeks to spend with family and focus on your next steps.
Step 8. Realize this is not the end of the road.
Realize this is not the end of the road. Although it can be difficult at times, don’t think that with your job loss, your whole life has come to an end. Start viewing the situation as a turning point towards positive change. Of course, this is a challenging time, but it can also present you with new opportunities.
