How to Be Awesome and Cool

Do you want to be that cool guy who always gets it right? Or perhaps you aspire to be that amazing girl who glides through life with ease and grace? By observing those you admire, you’ll notice they share common traits: confidence, uniqueness, and a knack for building friendships. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to being cool, but here are some tips to get you started.

Be Cool

Step 1. Don’t Be Clingy.

Avoid being clingy. Remember that cool people never act desperate. Instead, try to solve your problems on your own. This way, people will want to help you or ask for your assistance. This quality attracts others. Neediness pushes people away, so don’t do it. This doesn’t mean you should be invulnerable. Just don’t beg for attention or act like you can’t do anything without others’ help.

• Friends are great, but don’t make a tragedy out of spending one Friday night alone. Sometimes you need time to yourself.
• Don’t bug someone if they haven’t called you back. Avoid bombarding them with messages. Respect people’s personal space, and they will respect you back.

Step 2. Be Yourself.

Be yourself. This is a trait that people admire. You are unique, and you don’t need to measure up to anyone else. Make friends with whomever you want. Being cool means being yourself but friendlier, even if you are shy, as long as you’re not a hermit who badmouths others behind their backs. Don’t mimic others’ behavior. Live your life. Don’t lose yourself and your values. Being cool doesn’t mean changing who you are; it means being confident enough to show others how wonderful you truly are.

• What’s the point of being cool if you don’t let people see the real you? The coolest thing is when a person is authentic, and others value them for it.
• Embrace your individuality: your quirks, good traits, appearance, voice... everything that belongs to you. Be proud of all of it and never apologize for it, even if it’s not perfect or you personally don’t like it. Remember, we’re all human, and we try to accept each other with our flaws and strengths. So why not accept yourself, the most important person in your life, just as you are?
• Write down a list of goals you want to achieve. Individuality is what makes a person truly cool. Everyone has some talent: sports, music, creativity. People will see that you put your heart into it and will respect you for that. You might also try something new and meet new people along the way.

Step 3. Open Up to People.

Open up to people. The more you share, the better you understand yourself. By being more relaxed, you consciously and subconsciously reveal yourself to others. You share thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams, as well as likes, dislikes, preferences, and more.

• Take your time with this. Don’t share your personal life with the first acquaintance you meet at a party.

Step 4. Be Friendly, But Not Overly Clingy.

Be friendly but not overly clingy. Everyone loves cheerful people, but no one likes someone who doesn’t know when to stop. Many find such overzealousness irritating. Don’t force your company on others. Smile, chat, but try not to cross the line into clinginess. Even if you meet someone and think they are your soulmate, don’t overdo it.

• If you cling too much to someone, others might think you have no friends at all.
• If you want to give a friendly compliment, do it, but don’t spend half an hour telling someone how amazing they are.

Step 5. Be a Good Conversationalist.

Be a good conversationalist. Everyone loves people who know what to say at the right moment. Don’t dominate the conversation. Avoid repeating the same story in every situation. Just listen and offer small comments when someone else is talking. Often, it’s much better to quietly listen, analyze the conversation, and enjoy your friend’s sense of humor.

• Listen attentively. Remember the golden rule: people always want to feel that they matter to someone, and it’s better if it’s sincere. When you listen carefully, your conversation partner feels important, and you enhance your attention skills.
• Most people want to talk about themselves. They will enjoy conversing with you if you keep the discussion focused on them. If you comment on their story, they’ll be thrilled. However, if you’re in a quiet group, it’s better to use Tony Stark’s approach.
• Be funny! Crack jokes, but make sure you know your limits and that you’re with people who understand you’re joking.

Step 6. Avoid Overusing Slang.

Avoid overusing slang. Using too much casual language can make you appear “unnatural,” and people might think you lack command of normal speech. Speak clearly and confidently, and if the moment calls for it, you can use more formal language and complex words. However, don’t overdo it; otherwise, people might think you’re pretentious, which is just as bad as sounding unnatural.

• It’s important to find the right balance in conversation so that you come across as smart and quite sophisticated in front of your friends.

Step 7. Make Jokes.

Make jokes. Cool people are always easygoing and fun in any situation. They don’t get annoyed or angry, no matter what happens; they joke about it. They understand that they shouldn’t let bad emotions affect them and have mastered controlling them.

• Learn to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn’t mean being perfect; the ability to joke about yourself in awkward situations is a defining characteristic of coolness. Others will respect and love you for your simplicity.
• There are cool people, and then there are those who are “too cool.” The “too cool” ones think they are too serious to laugh at silly yet funny jokes. Don’t be that person.

Step 8. Speak Clearly.

Speak clearly. Observe “cool” people. They usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don’t mumble, trip over their words, or say “uh” and “um.” They say what they mean and put weight behind their words. Be confident in what you say and don’t let anyone change that. If you express your opinion and people disagree, don’t worry about it.

• You said what you thought, and people will respect you for that, as long as you’re not saying something you know might hurt someone. But be careful. Don’t shout your opinion just to be heard. Ensure it’s relevant and be prepared to back it up with reasoning.

Step 9. Stay Cool.

Stay cool. Cool people are calm, balanced, and maintain control over their actions; they are unexcitable, indifferent, and socially adaptable. Often, cool people don’t get nervous over trivial things, unless they have something cool to say. Learn to connect with people. Don’t get angry or irritated. Being cool is a natural state. It’s easy. Just be confident.

• Often, people who try too hard to be cool only harm themselves with their excessive striving. People like those who come across as natural. How does it work? The secret to coolness is finding a balance between effort and complete inactivity.
• Take a deep breath. Being cool means being calm and adaptable to any circumstance. Don’t lose your cool. If you feel like you’re about to lose it or cry or anything else, take a deep breath and collect yourself. Stay calm.

Step 10. Don’t Seek Attention Through Bad Behavior.

Don’t seek attention through bad behavior. Many young people start smoking, drinking, bullying others, and picking up other harmful habits. Often, this happens due to negative reinforcement. After a bad act, a person might be “rewarded” with attention. “I can’t believe he did that!” people will say. It’s easy to confuse attention with popularity, even if it comes from bad deeds. If you want to be cool, you need to know your limits.

• Don’t think it’s cool to draw attention to yourself through bad actions. In most cases, people who compete in breaking the law and drinking don’t fall into the “cool” category. If a group of people doesn’t like you or your lifestyle, seek out other friends.
• Don’t do drugs. Truly cool people can be cool without the influence of drugs and alcohol.
• Don’t smoke; it won’t make you cool; it will just make you smell bad. Other smokers won’t notice the unpleasant odor because they smell the same. If you smoke, you’re likely to spend time with other smokers, limiting your options in finding a partner, as non-smokers hate the smell of smoke and won’t want to be around you. Don’t judge smokers; just don’t start smoking, or you’ll have to pay someone to quit.
• Never argue. Don’t engage in arguments if you consider yourself cool. You understand that winning an argument doesn’t matter. When you know you’re right, you just know it. You don’t need to waste your time, effort, and energy trying to convince someone who doesn’t understand what you do.

Step 11. Don’t Think About How to Be Cool, Just Be.

Don’t think about how to be cool, just be. It’s great that you’re reading books and articles about self-improvement, but it’s time to put theory into practice. Do it! It’s scary, but you will transform for the better right before your eyes. Who knows whom you’ll meet in your life and what it will bring you? (Fun, mental growth, a pony ride, or a job?)

• Do what you want, not just think about it.
• It’s certainly good that you’re not diving in headfirst, but don’t stay in one place doing nothing.

Think Like a Cool Person

Step 1. Remember That Everyone is Equal.

Remember that everyone is equal. Whether you’re talking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy sponsors, a child, a stranger, a president, or an attractive guy or girl, remember that this person is no better or worse than you. Treat them the same way you would like to be treated. Respect others and expect them to respect you in return.

• When people treat you disrespectfully, ignore them until they realize it. Not in the sense of not listening to them, but casually and verbally dismissing their remarks. There’s usually a reason they’re not showing you respect or not doing what you ask.
• People might not respect you because they are unhappy, someone has hurt them recently, you’ve disrespected them, or they’ve never been taught how to behave properly with others. But know that there’s always a reason, and try to find out what it is if you want that person to respect you.

Step 2. Not Everyone Will Understand You.

Not everyone will understand you. While it’s great to surprise people with your ingenuity, there will be times when you encounter those who simply won’t get you. They might look at you in confusion and ask you to explain what you thought was common knowledge. That’s okay. The most charming thing about people is their diversity.

• Humor varies. If you get a blank stare, just be polite, apologize, and laugh about it later with your friends.

Step 3. Trust Your Friends.

Trust your friends. There’s a reason they are your friends. They may love you for personal traits you don’t like about yourself. Let them decide for themselves instead of presenting an imperfect version of yourself to the world. If you want to be cool, you need to believe that people truly value you and your friendship.

• Being friends with people you think are cool just to become cool yourself is not cool at all. Life doesn’t work that way.

Step 4. Don’t Be Afraid to Stand Out.

Don’t be afraid to stand out. Try to differentiate yourself in everything you do: advocate for your interests, defend someone else’s interests, or take an interest in something no one else does, like playing a musical instrument. The coolest people are those who occasionally go against the grain and make others question the status quo. Sometimes, insecure people may envy you. They might try to reach you, hoping to absorb the attention you receive.

• It’s important to remember not to smile weakly at them; just ignore such people. Not in the sense of not listening, but casually and verbally dismissing their comments.

Step 5. Know How Others Perceive You.

Know how others perceive you. There’s a difference between allowing others’ judgments to affect your self-esteem and knowing how you present yourself to others. What you should do is understand how you appear from someone else’s perspective. Regarding appearance: watch out for food stuck in your teeth, stale breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, and so on. Regarding self-control: be smiley, sit or stand up straight (this way, you’ll look and feel more confident), smile a lot, be polite, attentive, and so on.

• Pay attention to your body language; knowing what it means can help you present yourself better.
• By being aware of how you look in school, at a football match, or at a party, you can guess what people think of you and adjust your behavior accordingly. This doesn’t mean you need to change yourself, just that it’s good to realize if you’re not letting anyone else speak or are boring people, then you can step back when needed.

Step 6. Relax.

Relax. Seriously. If you constantly tell yourself that you can’t communicate, you create anxiety that gnaws at your mind during any conversation. Then you focus on this anxiety, and it becomes a vicious cycle of trying to self-actualize. If you keep thinking something will go wrong in a social situation, you might miss the moment when everything goes perfectly.

• People will notice if you’re constantly anxious and nervous, and they will take advantage of it, making you even more anxious. Instead of attracting people to you, behave calmly and let others feel more relaxed in your presence.
• Sometimes, it’s okay to vent to a close friend if you really need to. Just make sure you don’t gain a reputation as someone who is always dramatic.

Look Cool

Step 1. Present Yourself Positively.

Present yourself positively. Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slouch or stare at the ground, people won’t respect you. You need to look and feel confident to gain the respect you deserve. Don’t walk too fast, as it may appear you’re running away.

• Smile. Don’t hesitate to smile often; make it a habit, and let every smile be genuine. When you smile when meeting someone, you present yourself as a confident, friendly, and calm person. It’s much more enjoyable to interact with confident, friendly, and calm people than with tense ones.

Step 2. Stay Fit!

Stay fit! Keeping yourself in shape boosts your self-esteem and lets you view the world differently. This doesn’t mean you need to have a six-pack to be cool. Simply taking care of yourself makes you cool. Try to exercise regularly, go to the gym, or play sports to maintain good health. Also, eat healthy food. Energy isn’t something everyone is born with, so work on it. You’ll see results if you put in the effort.

• Know that you can’t please everyone. Try your best, but don’t get too carried away judging yourself or listening to others’ opinions. There are countless ways to connect with others. Learn not to take everything to heart. Be content with yourself and do what you enjoy.

Step 3. Maintain Good Hygiene.

Maintain good hygiene. Be sure to brush your teeth morning and night, and even after meals if possible. Use perfume (if you’re a girl) and apply a little cologne (if you’re a guy). Shower daily and use deodorant. Additionally, use lotion to keep your skin from getting dry, and carry lip balm if your lips are dry. Wash your face every morning to keep it fresh and clear of blemishes.

• You don’t have to spend hours in front of the mirror to be cool. But spending 20-30 minutes a day on self-care won’t kill you.

Step 4. Your Body Language Should Exude Confidence.

Your body language should exude confidence. If you want to look cool, your body language should reflect your confidence. When speaking with someone, make eye contact, use hand gestures, and sit or stand with good posture; smile even if you’re nervous, don’t fidget, and avoid looking down, or you’ll come off as insecure.

Step 5. Find Your Style in Clothing.

Find your clothing style. You can wear whatever you want, as long as your clothes reflect your personality. Guys can attract girls even if they always wear a sweater. Some of the “least cool” guys find girls because tastes vary. This is undoubtedly a testament to coolness.

• You don’t have to follow fashion trends to look cool. Your clothing should be comfortable and enjoyable for you.